It took a while before I could find a phone that fit the '1998 project' (as people seem to be calling it now).
After more than two weeks of frantic eBaying, mysterious packages arriving in the post, visits from family and friends clutching old handsets, and numerous conversations with a very confused phone unlocking chap in Chinatown, I've settled on a Nokia 6210.
The Nokia 5110 (the phone I should be using) refuses to accept my sim, despite being unlocked. The Motorola StarTac had the same reaction, despite me cellotaping my sim to the giant, credit-card sized Cellnet sim that came out of it (along with some hair, and what looked like chocolate). The Siemens C25, cute as it may be, turned up with no charger. The Nokia 6500 Classic is far too new, and for girls. I still can't find an Ericsson GH688 (the one I really wanted) for love nor money.
So the 6210 - the phone I had in 2000 and generously donated by Silk Snr - seemed to be the best bet. Yes, I know it's technically from the future but it runs on a Nokia operating system that's pre-S60 (the first Symbian-based platform for smartphones) so is remarkably similar to the Nokia I was using in 1998.
Yes, it may have Snake II instead of Snake and an infra-red port, but it doesn't have crazy modern tech like polyphonic ringtones or - gasp - predictive text. In other words, it's a phone that's far from smart.
So after much soul searching and a tearful goodbye, the HTC Desire has gone to join my iPad and my Sony Reader in The Cupboard Of The Future.
If you need me, send me a text.